Marvel Vs Nelvana (and other crossovers, crack and general insanity)
by AlmightyLordPhlebotium
Summary: Witness the stupidest garbage ever devised by your truly's twisted, insane brain. A general collection of the worst crackfics, just to show how screwed up I am. Not meant to be serious. Pay no attention to grammar mistakes. WARNING: contains sex and violence.
1. Chapter 1

"I don't get it, kid. What kind of super villains raised you? Evil Care Bears? My Little Evil Pony?"

"Hey! Don't you talk like that about my parents."

"Well, if they raised you to be evil, at least you'd know how the world works. Because now [sniff sniff]..."

"Wait, are you smelling me-"

BOOM! The two were blasted out of their car by an explosion.

"Wounded...ragged wound. Take... too long to heal." Said Wolverine while crawling from the wreckage.

"Like, gross! Eeew!" Molly Hayes was merely bruised, but handled it worse than the man that was stabbed and burned and frozen and shot and bitten before her parents-no, grandparents-were born.

Speaking of Molly's parents...There was an enemy that they shouldn't have made.

"YOU ASSHOLES FUCKING RAN ME OVER WITH YOUR GODDAMN CAR!" Someone was screaming while climbing from under a pile of flaming rubble "DON'T YOU CARE ABOUT THE GODDAMN PEDESTRIANS YOU SHITFACED..."

The charred figure finished crawling from under the car "...PILE OF CAMEL SPERM!...oh..." he looked up "...shit."

A rough voice from her right woke Molly up, to find herself swinging upside-down. "Finally you're awake, stupid brat!" It said.

"I've had a wonderful dream, Logan. There were these cute caring bears..."

"I didn't say anything, kid." Said Logan from her left.

Molly looked to her right stared in shock at a Care Bear hanging next to her. She spent a few moments staring at the bear, before squealing in joy.

"Oh, yeah, I get it. 'Hey-look! A blue furry dude. Let's make fun of him'. Take a picture, it'll last longer." He stared back at the girl, who furrowed her brow in confusion. "What?"

"Why are you so grumpy, Hank?"

The power armoured guard, who heard Grumpy speak to Wolverine, did a face fault and started laughing.

"What the hell is wrong with you two? His first name is Grumpy, not Hank McCoy!"

"See? Even the guard knows that I'm not Beast." Said Grumpy.

"Grumpy's too skinny to look like Beast. He resembles Nightcrawler!"

"FFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUU!"

Loud footsteps sounded down the corridor. "What's all the commotion?!"

"Hey, boss. Wolverine and the Pride brat confused this bear mutant with Beast from Xavier's academy, and I'm just laughing at these dumbasses-"

BAM! He was knocked out by his boss' armoured fist. The leader walked up to stare at Molly with his pink eyes. "I've got you right where I want you, Molly Hayes. You will pay for your parents' crimes, and so will these two mutants you have as allies!"

"I'm not a mutant, you fat overgrown tub of lard! I'm a magical entity!" Grumpy interrupted. "Lord Wishing Star was summoned by the Necronomicon and..."

The pink-eyed commander backhanded Grumpy without looking, but hit Wolverine instead. "You're a real bucket full of sunshine eh, bub?"

"Oh, great. Stuck to a hairy Canadian, listening to a cross between NoHeart and Dr Doom rant."

"You forgot Magneto, bub."

Grumpy's eyes opened wide and he grinned. "Magnets. That's it!" he whispered "We're wrapped in chains and your skeleton is adamantium, right?"

"What?"

"Shhh. Be quiet and do as I say."

"You guys are more annoying than this freak." Said Molly, earning a slap from the ranting villain.

"My gang and your parents were fighting over the same territory. Nothing personal. It's just that they killed every one of them. EXCEPT ME!" The villain shouted in Molly's face.

"Are you saying my parents were bad people?"

"I'm bad. My army is bad. Your parents...well, they make me look like your cuddly blue fellow prisoner."

"Do not open your claws completely, Logan. Touch the tips to our chain. No questions, just do it!."Grumpy whispered and started chanting and Wolverine felt a tingle of electricity "...Care bear stare care bear stare care bear stare..."

"No. My parents aren't bad people." Molly cried.

"They left me paralyzed, FOR SEVEN YEARS! WITH MY EYES OPEN! For seven years, I couldn't eat, shit, or even move a finger. And after seven years, it just STOPPED!"

"Care bear stare care bear... Wolverine, start swinging... stare care bear stare..."

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TWO BABBLING?!" the swinging pair swung towards the armoured man.

"Now!" shouted Grumpy at the top of his lings "CARE BEAR STARE!"

The armoured commander was stuck to Grumpy and convulsed from the electricity while his soldiers shot at all three. They all fell down and Wolverine charged towards the rest of the soldiers with the chains and smoking, armoured corpse stuck to his body. He flipped on his hands while the rest of the soldiers were stuck to their leader, stuck one hand's claws into the ground and lifted another one into the air.

"Now, Grumpy!"

The second Care Bear Stare hit his claws and electrocuted the entire team.

Sometime later, the three of them were exiting the enemy headquarters.

"I can't believe my parents would do such a thing." Said Molly while pulling off metal objects off Wolverine. "You were right, they were bad people. I can't believe that they tricked me."

"No, whatever I said, I wasn't serious. Even when they did terrible things, they still loved you." said Wolverine, and hugged Molly carefully because metal debris were sticking out of his skin from his brief stint as a Care Bear-powered humanoid electromagnet and later a lightning rod.

"I can believe it, Molly." Said Grumpy "I failed my mission: Wolverine did a better job counselling you about your parents (of whom I was briefed) than I did, I've got ran over by a car, exploded and worst of all, forced to listen to a supervillain cross between Julius Caesar and a Space Marine rant about his backstory."

"Don't say that. If it wasn't for you and Wolverine combining your powers, I'd be killed by a stray bullet." Molly said, kissing the bear on the cheek.

"And as much as I hate being human pincushion," Wolverine said, pulling a few nails, staples, paper clips and bits of wire out of his skin "that bit where you magnetized my skeleton was quick thinking, bub."

"Sorry about that."

"Don't worry about that. This way, we're even. Both of us got under each other's skin. Literally and figuratively. You're still the only person with a personality worse than mine."

"And you're the only one hairier than me. You got a good point there, bub." Grumpy said as all three of them laughed.


	2. Chapter 1 remake

Wolverine was driving Molly Hayes (the girl with super strength) back to her friends' hideout.

"So, what kinda supervillains raised you, kid? Evil Care Bears? My Little Evil Pony?" Wolverine said.

"Hey, stop saying bad stuff about my parents!"

"Well, if they raised you to be evil, at least you'd know how the world works. Because right now," Wolverine paused to smell the air.

"Are you smelling me?" the girl asked indignantly.

They were interrupted by a huge BOOM!

All three of them exited the flaming wreckage. Molly was shielded by her psychic strength force field, Wolverine had a ruptured lung that needed time to heal and Grumpy Bear (who had the bad luck to be beamed down by a certain raccoon's new teleporter into the path of a speeding car) was unharmed except for Looney Toons-like black soot covering his fur because the universe hates him.

"God fucking damn it! That's the last motherfucking time I volunteer for a goddamn Caring Fucking Mission or listen to that full of shit raccoon! Help the snot-nosed little bitch deal with her superpowers and dead parents, my furry ass! If I had super strength, I'd fuck the shit out of every bastard that pisses me the fuck off!" an angry Grumpy ranted until a bunch of soldiers in power armor surrounded them."

"Ow my head." Molly says.

"Fuck" someone behind her said.

"Stop swearing, Logan."

"I didn't say anything."

Molly turned to Grumpy, who was hanging upside down and wrapped in chains like Molly and Logan between them.

"Is that you Hank? What are you doing here?"

"For the last time, I'm Grumpy Bear, not Hank McCoy! He's a superpowered human gorilla cat, I'm a fucking magical entity that looks like a bear. Do your homework, dumbass."

"He's too skinny to be Beast." the bored power armored guard said "He looks more like Nightcrawler. But you won't be teleporting nowhere, my furry friend." The guard laughed as a flying metal door smashed him against the wall and knocked him out.

"Quiet, you!" the supervillain that looks like a stoner Space Marine Julius Caesar who kicked the door at him said. "Well, well well." he turned to the three "Finally, I shall have my revenge on the daughter of the villains that ruined my life."

"Wait." Molly said "Are you saying my parents were evil?"

"Ha ha ha." the Caesar impersonator went face to (upside down) face with the girl. "No, child. I am evil because I'm getting revenge on a little girl. Your parents...They're much, much worse. The Pride used to have a turf war with my army. Instead of killing me, your parents paralysed me with their psychic powers for twelve years. For TWELVE YEARS, I couldn't move a finger. I couldn't eat, blink, or WIPE MY ASS WITHOUT ASSISTANCE. Then, after twelve years...it stopped. Just like that."

...The villain got off his power armor-sized floating arm chair and put the felt fez hat with and his smoking pipe away in his amour's compartment when he finished his long flashback.

"And now, I will take out years of frustration on a completely innocent little girl." He said with an evil laugh. "We'll have to dispose of the other two. I'm thinking Thermite immolation or molten metal for the hairy Canadian."

"Which one?" the henchman asked weakly.

"Both of them." the leader answered "Nothing personal gentlemen, but if a murder method can kill a regenerator or at least slow him down for a decade or so, it can kill a magical bear Smurf."

"Oh yeah? Just try me, Emperor Caligula. Your mother was a drug addicted whore when she was this girl's age and you never knew your father because he was her customer!"

"I'll shut you up quickly, furball. Men, open fire!"

The men that came behind him (and the injured Bored Henchman) opened fire at an unusually frizzy-haired Grumpy, who got stuck to Molly with magnetic force.

"Cease fire! We can't let the girl die yet."

"Hey guys." Grumpy interrupted. Do you know what happens when electricity passes through metal."

"Enough of your talk, bear."

"You'll soon find out."

"Remove the girl!"

"Yes Sir." "Yes sir!"

Now only Grumpy and wolverine were hanging next to each other.

"Now listen up, Wolverine. Extend your claws beneath your chain."

"What do you have in mind?"

"Do it!"

As the Space Marines aimed their guns at Grumpy, eight basketball-sized clouds surrounded Wolverine.

"Mega! CARE! BEAR! STARE!"

The guns were pulled out of their hands and flew at Wolverine. The ceramic-based armor fared better, but a bunch of parts were also pulled by the chains and adamantium, both magnetized by lightning.

"Now, stab the main fucker with one hand and extend the other one." Grumpy said as a freed Wolverine got to his feet and followed a levitating chain that tripped everyone.

He jumped in the air and pierced the supervillain's armor and raised his other claw that acted as a lightning rod for a Care Bear Stare-based lightning that fried the jerk.

The three of them exited the villain's lair while the smiling and giggling brainwashed henchmen waited for the police and one or two army tanks to arrest them.

"They'll snap out of it in a day or so." Said the Care Bear "The Care Bear Stare has a strong influence on the weak-minded."

"Thank you so much, Grumpy." Molly said and kissed the Care Bear. "We'd be dead if it weren't for you."

"Aw, shucks, Molly." Grumpy blushed "Logan would have found a way to escape and free you without getting magnetized." he turned to Wolverine, who was picking bits of metal stuck to him "Sorry about that."

"No big deal, fur ball. And you're the first person I've met that's grumpier than me, eh?"

"And you're the only person hairier than me. Well, I've got to get going now, since Molly doesn't need my counseling when she has you to help her."

Grumpy summoned a thundercloud motorcycle from his tummy symbol "Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to beat up a stupid raccoon that builds faulty teleporters that make me get hit by cars. I do hope that I'll visit you again under better circumstances. I hate Caring Missions!" Grumpy said as he flew off.


	3. Chapter 2

Wolverine, Hellboy, Sir Integra Hellsing and Hannibal Smith from A-Team were all enjoying cigars and alcohol at Mac's bar from the Dresden Files.

"Okay, guys." Wolverine asked "What's with this buying me drinks? I can buy my own vodka."

"Yeah, but you sober up almost immediately." Hellboy said "Why, I can beat you at left handed arm wrestling without breaking a sweat, and even I can get drunk on beer. Enough to slow my reflexes against a human-hating elf prince." Hellboy said, then got quiet all of a sudden.

"What's up buddy? You got sad all of a sudden." Hannibal asked.

"His sister died to save me and my friends. The fishman was in love with her. I hope the Angel of Death sent the elf twins where they deserve."

Death was like a dream. Nuala heard her brother's voice calling for her. "Nuala…Nuala..."

"_What is in, nee-chan?"_ she asked.

"Wake up, you traitorous bitch!" Nuada shook his sister awake. "And why did you switch to Japanese?"

"_Shinigami-sama who removed your spear tip from Hellboy-san's side told me they speak Japanese where he sent us after death. Said that this reality will help you redeem yourself."_

Nuada slapped his sister, only for her to block it. They both grabbed their arms in pain.

"Damn connection."

They were interrupted by an excited troll running towards them.

"_Wink-san!" _Nuala exclaimed. _"You're alive, too. But your mechanical arm is gone."_

The angry troll grabbed her to keep her from escaping. "Wa wah wah wah wah. Wah!"

"This I've gotta see." Nuada said. "Keep her quiet and don't injure her too seriously. Bruises and pain are fine, but no bone breaks."

Out of the shadows, the elf prince saw three ninjas fighting. A teacher, a student wearing bright orange and carrying a scroll on his back, and a traitor out to take the scroll and the other two's lives….

"Okay, I know I can't get drunk nowadays without an Everclear enema, but you guys are so suspicious with your generous free drink offers." Wolverine said "Almost like you're trying to play a prank on me or something."

"Everclear…enema." Hannibal said. "That's it, Logan, you're a genius! Why hadn't I thought of it before? Two words, my friends. Suppository. Cigars!"

The old man lifted his short to reveal enough nicotine patches to kill the guy from Thank You for Smoking "I've ran out of space for these."

"Just remember to extinguish it first." Wolverine said as they all heard a hiss of burning and a painful yelp from Hannibal "Too late."

"Yeah, well I had to feed a liter of vodka to Bea Arthur" Deadpool interrupted "Just to get a good night's kiss."

"Hey bub, I told you to beat it."

Wolverine sliced Deadpool's head off and conveniently pushed a garbage bin with his foot to catch it.

"Hey, I can't see a thing down here!"

"I've got an idea." Hannibal said as he took the garbage bin to Mac's kitchen, telling then silent owner to ignore the head like it were Bob the talking skull.

Then everyone heard Felicia from Darkstalkers, Felicia Hardy from Marvel comics and Selina Kyle with her platonic date Oswald Cobblepot (both from DC) ordering their fish-based meals, along with Zatch Bell, Tom from Tom and Jerry and Sylvester from Looney Toons.

With the exception of frozen fish and chips, Mac always kept a small supply of fresh fish for his regulars.

"Oh no. What are you doing?" Deadpool's head said in a Nicholas Cage impression "Not the fish guts, not the fish guts! AAAH, they're in my eyes!"

"Oh my, that was sooo…baaad!" Beastly interrupted the gang.

"You got a problem with it, bub?"

"What is that thing?" Integra asked.

"A gremlin. Same thing as a kobold, really. Really tricky buggers, but not violent. Only causing property damage. As harmless as a Tsukumogami-that's the Japanese animated objects. I thought your organization dealt with supernatural."

"Only the kind that wields guns, not plays pranks." Integra answered.

"Not anymore, Mr Hellboy, sir. Oh please, please teach me to be bad like you so my master stops calling me a worthless little runt and shooting lightning at my furry bum bum."

"I cannot kill this little twerp." Wolverine said. "He's too damn innocent."

"I've got an idea." Hannibal said and crouched near the furry creature "So, Mr,"

"Beastly. Johann Cornelius Dietrich Beastly, Mr John Hannibal Smith, sir."

"Beastly. I see from your well-maintained helmet and goggles that you're an experienced military man. But a good soldier needs to be really good at repairing stuff. Why don't you show us by making something simple, like a hundred and twenty volt flux capacitor and bringing it to us tomorrow. If you can do that, I promise that we will help you become really tough. Is it a deal?" Hannibal extended a hand to Beastly.

"Deal!" Beastly reached out to shake the offered hand, only for Murdoch to interrupt them.

"Oh, no, Hannibal. I won't let you play that joke on this poor little fella. I may be crazy, but even I can see through it."

"Oh, you got me, Murdoch. I was going to send Mr Beastly on a wild goose chase."

"Yes I did. There's no way that a beginner will be able to build a flux capacitor in less than twenty four hours without proper equipment and preparation. I demand that you give me an entire week to teach Mr Beastly how to build a flux capacitor, after which if he can make one by himself, we will take him on an A-Team mission until he can make his wizard master proud!"

"Very well, Murdoch. Do what you have to do."

When the two of them ran to the exit in excitement, Hannibal turned to the rest of the cigar smokers "Two birds with one stone. Murdoch was getting annoying anyway."

Spiderman had seen a lot of freaky stuff over his life, but that was pushing it. A cowboy was piloting a flying train through the Big Apple.

Spidey landed next to the weird guy on his train.

"Howdy, partner."

"Howdy, youngster." The bearded man replied, completely unsurprised by a flexible guy in a bug-eyed spandex mask.

"Um, who are you supposed to be? A musical cowboy…train conductor? I sure hope that you're a good guy, because I do not look forward to fighting any new villains."

"Don't worry, youngster. I'm Songfellow Strum, the nicest magicky musical guy to live between Texas and Alabama. They really need to learn kindness there, you know." He whispered conspirationally. "I'm here to wrangle that big green feller that's been rampagin' across this here fine city."

"You're here to fight the Hulk? It's your funeral, buddy."

"Aw, hogwash. This ain't me first rodeo, son. And I ain't not gonna be fightin' him. Just see for yourself."

A few minutes later, Bruce Banner was sleeping in She-Hulk's from Songfellow's lullaby. "Thank you for stopping my cousin, Songfellow."

"Aw, no problem." he said "Ya know a great way to show yer love for him, young lady? Incest! Just marry him like they do in the south. Back where I live, we tolerate that sort of thing."

Everyone stared at the child-friendly cowboy in shock.

"Whaaat? I'm just kiddin' you, folks. We're all grownups here, ain't we? I just don't discuss this sorta thing with little ones nearby." Some people in the crowd chuckled at this "Now if ya excuse me, Director Fury will be debriefing me."

Christy was sulking when a husky voice spoke to her. "Hey there."

"Who are you?"

"I'm just a kid from the camp across the lake. Are you this place's Camp Champ?" the red-haired boy asked.

"No."

"Could have fooled me. Hey, you know what would be great? I can help you become one. For a price, of course."

"I knew it was too good to be true."

"Wait, wait, wait. It's no big deal. I'll just drop by and as for your help, no questions asked. So what do you say?"

"I dunno...Okay."

Just as the red-haired boy was about to snap his fingers, a katana sliced his hand off.

"Don't listen to the demon, girl. I'll teach you to be ninja for free!" said a spandex-wearing Jason Voorhees impersonator in a hockey mask.

The girl was long gone by now.

"I'll teach you to interfere in a demon's business, human!" the boy in red clutching the stump of his hand said in a deep voice as his eyes glowed red. Red smoke enveloped him as he turned into a dragon. "I'll incinerate you, fool!"

"Big deal. I can regenerate injuries."

The dragon took a breath anyway.

"Wait-this is my last suit. I'll end up naked!" the guy in spandex said.

The red dragon plugged his mouth and nose with his hands, smoke coming from his ears.

"Excellent. Now we can discuss business properly. For a small fee, I can help you get revenge better than a young girl."

"I'll rip you to shreds with my claws instead!" the demon said as he turned into a tiger.

"Enough fucking around!" The Merc With a Mouth impaled Dark Heart's front tiger paws with his katanas

"I said, I'm going to deliver the Care Bears to you-dead or gift wrapped- in exchange for money, then train the girl for free so she doesn't have risk her jaibait ass dealing with creepy girly pretty boys like you, punk."

"Why didn't you say so, mercenary?" The tiger paused to lick its ironically Christ-like wounds going through the paws when Deadpool removed the katanas.

"I want those beast angels-the Care Bears and the Cousins-watch their two parents die before their eyes as they themselves turn back into humans. You see, long ago, there was a wizard and his demon wife who lived peacefully in a cottage in the wilderness...

Flashback:

A young boy hid under the bed as the mob with torches and pitchforks grabbed his parents...

...he turns into a mouse to escape as they set the house on fire...

...a red-haired boy is crying over the burned remains of his family's home, tears streaking down his soot-covered face...

...a priest and a nun desperately run from a burning church...

...a red demon is facing a wizard as another one makes is casting a spell over the priest and nun...

...the priest's feet warp into hooves, the nun's hands warp into bear paws...

...the two animals sail away in a boat...

...they trade for supplies at a foreign port, disguised in cloaks...

...a bunch of starving children mutate into animals as well...

...a sea serpent is seen in the distance of the boat...

...divine light shines on the boat as it rises into the sky...

...a shiny golden face makes symbols appear on their bellies...

Meanwhile, Christy ran back to the camp in panic. She was greeted by the twins, John and Dawn.

"Christy, Christy, you won't believe it! We've met a bunch of talking animals who took us to a magical cloud land in the sky where we spent an entire week changing the baby talking animals diapers while only a minute passed back here and it was so fun and they were so cute like you wouldn't believe it!"

"I do believe it!" Jareth Uzumaki, Naruto's half-goblin cousin said as he contact juggled a glass ball, almost dropping it, then teleported away in a cloud of floating leaves.

"Lucky you." Christy deadpanned "I only met a shapeshifting demon and an ugly ninja in a hockey mask."

The Wonder Twins stared at Christy in shock. "Are you okay?" Dawn asked. "Yeah," John added, checking Christy's forehead with his hand "Do you have a fever? I've heard that it causes delirium."

"Out of my way!" the passing camp champ said as he pushed the two twins in the mud "You suck!"

Christy looked at her crazy friends, the asshole walking away, then turned back to where she came from

"Screw that. I'd rather deal with two superpowered psychopaths that with this shit."

"...and that's how I spent centuries trying to kill the cowardly Christian hypocrites who killed my parents and switched to a pagan religion to escape my wrath by being turned into a bear and a horse." Dark Heart finished.

"That has got to be the most interesting life story ever." Deadpool said as he woke up.

"Helloo?" Christy said "Demon guy? Crazy ninja dude? I accept whatever evil deals you have for me."

"Well if it isn't little Miss Run Away. You came crying back, didn't you?"

"Yes sir." Christy said.

"Well, think of it like this: you can have this guy improve your abilities with magic, that he can take them away when you are no longer useful to him. Or, you could train with me and learn how to hit the big bully in a pressure point to paralyze his arm and how to make explosives out of laundry detergent."

"But why can't I have booooth?" Christy whined, despite the fact that doing so in front of two scary and deadly men in a really bad idea.

"Because this guy wanted to magically give you superpowers in exchange for you pretending to be in trouble so that he can grab the magical talking animals when they try to save you, but since I volunteered to train you for your own safety and catch the furry critters myself, Darky here has no need for you anymore. I mean, you could always seduce him to get both superpowers and martial art skills to use with them, but who would want that? I mean, he's soo ugly, with his pug nose and his Lucky the Leprechaun chin and his funny-looking ears. Downright uncanny valley. Nowhere as handsome as me"

Deadpool said as he showed his Freddie Krueger-like face under his mask.

Christy ignored him as she licked her lips seductively and moved a strand of hair behind her ear.

"Hello there." she said to the tiger "What's your name? You look so fluffy as a tiger." she said in the big cat's ear "Almost as cute as your human shape. I always wanted to cuddle a big scary tiger."

"Uh, ugh, I'm uh, my name is Daniel Donald Mario Ripley Kerrigan MacAllister Hart." The demon said nervously.

"But friends call me Dark Heart. I mean, if I had any friends over the centuries, because I've been trying to avenge my dead parents and stuff."

"That's so noble of you, Danny." Christy said "My name Is Christina Joan Bea Crawford Cherrywood. No relation to either one because I'm an orphan. Thank goodness because I don't wanna be slapped for using wire coat hangers." Christy giggled. "I don't remember my mother."

Flashback:

"You little bitch!" the mother slapped Christy with a coat hanger "How dare you use wire coat hangers for your dresses! Oh no-" she stopped mid-sentence to look at a drop of blood on her white dress "You little cunt bled all over my favorite dress! Get the peroxide to remove the stain this instant, or I'll really give you something to bleed about!"

Meanwhile, Christy was panting from rage and pain from where her face was stung by a coat hanger, her face elongated into a wolf muzzle as her lips ripped and fur appeared on her body.

"I said, stop turning into a werewolf and clean my fucking dress you furry little whore! You're just as unreliable as your father, who abandoned me for a female Nazi. Said I was too evil for him!" were the last words Christy's mother said before being ripped apart by a werewolf.

End Flashback.

"…and for some reason, coat hangers make me want to cry and stab people." Christy said to Dark Heart.

"Absolutely. No woman can compare to the real Bea Arthur, with her soft, wrinkly skin and her silvery, dandruffy hair and sweet denture breath. Aaaah!" Deadpool pulled out a photo of Bea and hugged it to his chest. "I wish I had Wolverine's sense of smell so I could smell a lock of her hair all day!"

The two ignored him.

"Oh, no no no." Dark Heart, puffing his chest confidently "I'm an evil, ruthless, manipulative psychopath. I uh, think I can hang out with you while you train with the freak. I can even help you practice martial art techniques against me." He said, turning into a gorilla wearing martial art sparring equipment. "But no giving you super strength, super speed, or other abilities. I will however, let you get revenge on the bullies to protect your friends."

"Wait. How did you know that?"

Dark Heart transformed from a gorilla into an evil chipmunk, pulling out a pair of tiny binoculars. "I can read lips from afar. Especially beautiful soft ones." He said in a high-pitched voice, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

A few days later…

"Brother, is something is wrong with Christy?" Dawn asked.

"I don't know."

Christy had just finished a footrace against the Camp Champ, as she rubbed it in the bully's face "I am the champion, I am the champion, no time for loser, cause I am the champion…of the woooorld! Bow down to me, you pathetic maggot!"

"Yes, Christy." The former Camp Champ said.

"Tell me who's the strongest girl in the camp."

"You are."

"Who's the prettiest girl in the camp?"

"But I already have a girlfriend!"

"She can join us." Christy winked at another girl watching them from behind the totem pole. The other girl blushed "Although you're not exactly Morgan Freeman. Oooh, old guys are awesome! Hey, I wonder if the cafeteria serves Mexican food? They'd better be, if they know what's good for them." She finished menacingly.

"Yeah, she's a violent bitch." John said "I like the new Christy."

Wolverine, Felicia and Daniel Mouse from the Devil and Daniel Mouse were fighting Morrigan, Mock Swagger from Rock and Rule and Daniel's old enemy B.L. Zeebub. Wolverine took out Mok, who damaged Felicia a lot.

"Hey, lady Aensland." B.L. said "How would you like to be celebrity for a day?"

"Totally!"

The music began to play and Morrigan sang one of the worst songs in the world while dancing suggestively, while blowing a kiss at Daniel. He did a typical Looney Toons thing with his heart beating through his chest as his girlfriend Jan did a throat-slitting gesture at him.

Baby, can't you see  
I'm calling  
A guy like you  
Should wear a warning  
It's dangerous  
I'm fallin'

There's no escape  
I can't wait  
I need a hit  
Baby, give me it  
You're dangerous  
I'm lovin' it

Too high  
Can't come down  
Losing my head  
Spinning 'round and 'round  
Do you feel me now

With a taste of your lips  
I'm on a ride  
You're toxic I'm slipping under  
With a taste of a poison paradise  
I'm addicted to you  
Don't you know that you're toxic  
And I love what you do  
Don't you know that you're toxic

It's getting late  
To give you up  
I took a sip  
From my devil's cup  
Slowly  
It's taking over me

Too high  
Can't come down  
It's in the air  
And it's all around  
Can you feel me now

With a taste of your lips  
I'm on a ride  
You're toxic I'm slipping under  
With a taste of a poison paradise  
I'm addicted to you  
Don't you know that you're toxic  
And I love what you do  
Don't you know that you're toxic

Don't you know that you're toxic

_[x2]_  
With a taste of your lips  
I'm on a ride  
You're toxic I'm slipping under  
With a taste of a poison paradise  
I'm addicted to you  
Don't you know that you're toxic

Intoxicate me now  
With your lovin' now  
I think I'm ready now  
I think I'm ready now  
Intoxicate me now  
With your lovin' now  
I think I'm ready now

The sheer lameness of this Britney Spears song acted as a super attack, blasting Wolverine with notes in a 55 hit combo (I don't know anything about Marvel vs Capcom game mechanics. Sorry.)

"That's it. We're totally fucked."

"But I still have full hit points."

"I said fucked, bub!"

Just as he said it, Wolverine got run over by a DeLorian.

"Mr Logan Mr Logan!" Beastly said cheerfully as he and Murdoch popped out of the car "Doc Brown taught us how to make flux capacitors. Wanna see?" he waved two of those devices inside square frames.

"Are you ready, Marty?" Daniel said.

"Totally, Mr Mouse."

"He can't do that, can he?" B.L. asked.

"Yes he can. My attacks summon Lilith and Felicia's attacks summon other catgirls, while BB Hood summons a bunch of mercenaries. I guess Marty McFly is the cuddly little rodent's summon. This is gonna hurt, old man!"

A bunch of amps appeared out of nowhere as Daniel's guitar inexplicably transformed from an acoustic one to an electric and he was wearing Gene Simmons' K.I.S.S. outfit when he started to sing in a deep, raspy voice.

You wanted power and you begged for fame  
You wanted everything the easy way  
You wanted gain without pain  
Now your bill is in the mail

You got stronger but your mind got weak  
You made a promise that you couldn't keep  
You had it all, you lost more  
It's all there in the fee

Via hell incorporated  
(Regeneration)  
First you love it then you hate it  
(You're such a saint)  
And now you're never gonna make it  
(Bad situation)  
Get on, get on down there's hell to pay

'Cause the devil is a loser and he's my bitch  
For better or for worse and you don't care which  
'Cause the devil is a loser and he's my bitch  
Runnin' into trouble you skitch, he's my bitch

You wanted riches and license to kill  
You got poverty and then you got ill  
You got poor and you lost your will  
All your dreams unfulfilled

I get my kicks when you blow your fuse  
No one got killed but that's no excuse  
Hands up, I let you know when it's done  
I've got the only gun

Via hell incorporated  
(Regeneration)  
First you love it then you hate it  
(You're such a saint)  
And now you're never gonna make it  
(Bad situation)  
Get on, get on down there's hell to pay

'Cause the devil is a loser and he's my bitch  
For better or for worse and you don't care which  
'Cause the devil is a loser and he's my bitch  
Runnin' into trouble you skitch

And there were no refunds  
(Devil is a loser)  
Just failing guarantees  
(Devil is a loser)  
"Confess your sins, son"  
(Devil is a loser)  
Said the preacher on TV  
(Devil is a loser)

You got yourself some greasepaint  
Set of white and black  
All you got was laughter and  
Gene Simmons on your back

'Cause the devil is a loser and he's my bitch  
For better or for worse and you don't care which  
'Cause the devil is a loser and he's my bitch  
Runnin' into trouble you skitch

He's my bitch  
(The devil is a loser and he's my bitch]  
For better or for worse and you don't care which  
'Cause the devil is a loser and he's my bitch  
Runnin' into trouble you skitch

Yeah  
Runnin' into trouble you skitch  
Waow  
Runnin' into trouble you skitch

The combo beat the crap out of the opposition, even the members that were off-screen.

"K.O." the announcer's voice said.

"So, Mr Logan, will you train me?" an excited Beastly asked a slightly less flat than a few minutes ago Wolverine.

Wolverine was fuming at the annoying little creep making him look so lame. Then an idea popped into his head.

"How many?"

"How many what?" Beastly asked

"Not watts, Volts." Murdoch corrected him "Well, since the time machine needs 1 210 000 000 watts at 60 amps, it's 20 166 666.6666 volts."

"The deal was 120 volts, bub."

"But Doc Brown said it's impossible to make a hundred and twenty volt flux capacitor. Said some scientific mumbo jumbo about the car melting and stuff." Beastly said.

"Oh yeah? Too bad, bub. That's what the furball gets for being annoying. Can someone lend me a shovel-or some spatulas?"

Tom and Jerry went to help Wolverine unstick from the pavement. What a wimp, complaining about being flattened. I've been flattened by a bulldozer more than I can count. Now removing a pitch fork from your ass, that's painful, Tom thought.

Meanwhile, a frizzy-haired and soot-covered Morrigan went up to Murdoch.

"Oh, sorry demon lady. I didn't mean to get you hit by Mr Mouse's guitar lightning. I just took a ride with Marty to bring the clux fapacitors-sorry, I mean fluc cipicitors" he said really nervously, messing up all the words because of the beautiful woman standing in front of him "while he did all the attacking."

"Shh. It's fine, Mr Murdoch. I don't mind being defeated by a strong warrior like you."

"But I've done nothing!"

"But you are a warrior. The kind that will tell me stories of experiences in Vietnam while crying on my bosom from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder as we snuggle on a couch and drink wine."

"OOOOh, a date! I've never went on one, especially with a pretty lady. I've got a set of Halloween pajamas just like yours, only for boys. We can eat cotton candy and uncooked cookie dough (without eggs to prevent salmonella poisoning) and watch Disney or Pixar movies."

"Oh, come on! Why do you pretend to be an innocent little boy. Where's the hardened soldier that saw too much violence?"

Murdoch's face suddenly took on a serious expression like Jiraya from Naruto looked when he wasn't acting like a total pervert.

"I'll show you mine of you show me yours, Lady Aensland. After all, I'm not the only one wearing a mask."

"Oh, very well." Morrigan's Halloween pajamas turned into a bunch of bats, then turned into a sexy nerd costume. A bat landed on the bridge of her nose and transformed into a pair of glasses just like the ones Janine Melnitz from Ghostbusters wore. She did her cutest nerdy schoolgirl pose "We can walk through a plane graveyard and talk about old models, then use the abandoned luxury air liner that I've furnished with all the comforts. TV, bar, devil and imp servants. What do you say, handsome?"

After all, like Tony Stark, Morrigan was trying to deal with her loneliness by getting multiple partners. Last time she was at his mansion, instead of sex they played Marvel vs Capcom on X-Box and sparred, complete with copies of Ryu's karate gi worn on top of her Halloween pajamas and Iron Man armor.

It took Pepper Potts half an hour to stop laughing hysterically at the funny scenes. It was also a copy of Pepper's outfit that Morrigan used to seduce Murdoch.

"I shall give you an evening you'll never forget, my lady. An evening of sexy roleplay." Murdoch said as he offered his right arm to her (using the other one to clutch his bleeding nose), as they both teleported in a swirl of bats.

Meanwhile, Felicia was 'comforting' Daniel Mouse (who was much sexier to her than that emo werewolf, anyway). His girlfriend Jan dumped him for Mok from Rock and Rule after she realized that Daniel chose the song by Lordi to represent her. "I am not a skitch, whatever the fuck that means." Jan thought as she hung to her new boyfriend's arm.

"Ohh." Beastly said in disappointment as he pulled out his helicopter out of hammerspace. "I guess it's back to No Heart's place."

Alarms rang through Dr Doom's castle in Latveria. Someone's moving fortress entered his airspace and was trying to contact him.

He turned the huge screen on to see the audacious bastard face to face before he killed him.

"WHO DARES INVADE THE LAND OF DOCTOR…DOOOOOM! Answer me, trespasser, lest YOU wish to be DESTROYED!"

"Doctor Doom, it is I, Lord No Heart, a master of EEEEEVIL and I wish to propose an alliance."

"Wow, I didn't know you swung that way, master." Beastly said.

"What? No! Not that kind of proposal, you moronic fur for brains!" Shrieky said. "He meant a business proposal!"

"Both of you, get out. I'm trying to have a grown up talk over here."

"Ooooooohh. He said grownup. This isn't something that a young girl like you should hear."

Beastly said with a chuckle as they both left.

"As I was saying, Doctor Doom. I, the great and mighty Lord No Heart, wish to form an alliance."

"An alliance? With you?" Doctor doom said through his laughter "Lord No Heart, the big joke of the villain community?

Why, even Gargamel is more respected than you. A village of miniature communists versus a poor alchemist with a cat are more or less evenly matched in terms of power.

But you? The man who makes Voldemort look like Rincewind the Wizzard, but failed to defeat a bunch of fuzzy wuzzy animals that want to teach kindness to Canadian children?" Doctor Doom howled with more laughter.

"OH YEAH? WHAT ABOUT YOU? DEFEATED BY SQUIRREL GIRL, THE JOKE CHARACTER WHO'S VICTORIES ARE NEVER ACKNOWLEDGED IN CANON?"

The Fantastic Four refused to hire her in favor of She Hulk as a temporary replacement for Ben Grimm. Actually, it's a fighting style thing. They needed a powerful brute to hold the enemies back, not super agile person controlling squirrels. Still embarrassing, though.

"DON'T EVER MENTION THAT FURRY WHORE AGAIN, FOOL!" Doctor Doom said, then looked around in fear, in case there was a squirrel spying on him "Actually, your retort has some merit, Lord No Heart. Let us join forces to help each other kill our enemies."

"And unlike other villains, make sure that they don't team up with each other against us."

"Of course. Every time villains team up, so do the heroes. Ughhh." Dr Doom shuddered. "I've cleared the way for your castle. Feel free to use the guest facilities."

At the summer camp, the kids were listening to their new counselor. He was wearing a Deadpool mask and a grey trenchcoat, but no gloves to reveal his scarred hands.

"Hello, children. My name is Mr Wade Wilson. But you can call me Mr Wilson, Wade, 'That crazy camp counselor with mental problems', 'mommy', 'ugly deformed freak'-you can call me that behind my back if you want," he said to the former Camp Champ, the barrel-chested elementary schooler with a lantern jaw "but only behind my back, or I'll do this to you."

He sliced his hand off with a katana, making it fall on the boy's lap and spraying him with blood. The boy screamed like a girl, pissed himself and fainted.

Deadpool picked his hand up and stuck it back on. Waiting for a new one to grow would take too much time.

"Didn't I see you somewhere?" Christy asked.

"No idea, kid. That's the first time I see you."

"Yes I did. Only instead of a red mask you wore a red costume

Some time back at Mac's tavern…

"Hey bub, have you seen Deadpool's head and body?"

MacAnally shook his head.

"Well, he must've regenerated by now. He must be somewhere. Wreaking havoc…"

A Deadpool without a mask and a Deadpool wearing a mask and nothing else were sneaking through the town, followed by two mini-Deadpools. One of them regenerated a new head, the severed head regenerated a new body, and the pieces of neck that were sliced off by Wolverine's claws regenerated into miniature versions of him.

The four of them entered a clothing store.

"Give us clothing or I'll blow your head off!" the naked Deadpool said, pointing a gun at a female cashier.

"AAAAAAH!" The girl shrieked in horror "PUT SOMETHING ON BEFORE I GOUGE MY FUCKING EYES OUT!"

She threw some clothing at the Deadpools while turning her back to him.

"Are you guys decent?"

"Yes."

"That's the second time this happened to me. Only the orange guy at Gotham City looked a lot better than you."

She said "That's why I keep this to pay for the clothes." The girl removed an 'in case of deranged maniacs who need a costume' jar filled with cash "And put that thing away before you break something." She said, pointing to Deadpool's gun.

"Wait. Did you say that this is the second time a naked maniac ran into your store demanding a costume?"

"Yeah. Called himself "The Creeper" or something like that. Someone posted an iphone video on the internet of him scaring the Joker and punching Batman out."

"DC Comics!" the Deadpools said, narrowing their eyes. "that's where my arch-enemy lives."

At wherever Dennis the Menace lives…

There was a knocking on the door. "Hey Mr Wilson, Mr Wilson. Wanna hang out?" the boy said.

The door was answered by a muscular man with a mustache wearing an eye patch, bathrobe, and nothing else.

"Oh, hello there, Dennis."

"You've been working out, Mr Wilson. And why are you dressed as a pirate?"

"This? Oh, a sharp metal nail flew into my eye while I was working on my car. It'll heal soon. I'm kinda busy now, though. I was taking a bath, and Mrs Wilson was scrubbing my back. Tell you what, kid. You can have this," he gave Dennis a copy of Robin's outfit "and later, I will teach you the martial art moves you could do while wearing this."

"Cool! A real Robin costume, with a titanium/Kevlar mesh cape that is softer than silk and does not deteriorate like normal Kevlar, a domino mask that adheres to the face without spirit gum resin and changes shape to match facial expressions! Thank you Mr Wilson, you're the best!"

"Now run along, boy." Mr Wilson said, waiting for Dennis to go away before closing the door.

"Who was that, Slade?" Mrs Wilson asked, wearing a silk negligee that left nothing to the imagination.

"Just little Dennis doing his usual thing. Where have we left off?"

"The part where the pirate ravishes the wench." She said, holding a hat with a skull and crossbones that he was wearing. "Hiring you to impersonate George while he's training with Taskmaster until he is muscular like you was the best idea ever." The older woman said menacingly. "And he will be like you, whether he wants to or not."

"Yes it was." Slade said.

And training Dennis in martial arts will be even better than taking Batman's sidekick. Why hadn't he thought of that before? Taking an untrained brat to be your apprentice is even better! Not only will he be stronger than Robin due to completely customized training plan, but also completely loyal. No need to brainwash him at all. Trying to take someone else's loyalty was impractical.

"Stupid old guy with his youthful good looks getting all the aged women" Deadpool said to the shopkeeper girl. "I'm gonna shove a fucking katana up his asshole. Reflexes or not, he has no fucking regeneration!"

"You know, dude," Thrifty the clothing store worker said "Ever since I met Batman and saw how ridiculous he looks, I keep meeting weird things and people."

"Well young lady, I'm going to tell you a secret. We are all fictional characters! Not the original versions, but ones in a stupid fanfiction by a loser with no life whose beard looks like pubic hair. Feel free to have your mind snap from the horrible revelation that drives your mind to madness."

"Big deal. I've seen worse thing now that I've bought a copy of the Necronomicon from a used book store and met my boyfriend. Cthulhu is a sweet guy who knows how to please a woman."

"Eww. Tentacles." Deadpool shuddered, wondering if Morrigan Aensland would use her arm tentacles on Murdoch as she did on him. His anus still ached.

"And you should have read the sign." Thrifty the clothing store clerk said.

**Superpowered freaks that need a costume: please use thrift stores instead of expensive stores like this one**.

"So," the Deadpool clone wearing his trademark mask with an Inspector Gadget outfit "I will be working in place of Mr and Mrs Granger while they're having sex, because years ago young Jason Voorhees drowned while they were doing it, and last year two Goth children and one Jewish one dressed as Native Americans and wreaked havoc in this camp."

No wonder Hermione had Obliviated their memories of herself ever existing and went to live with her mother-in-law Molly Weasley. Having evil camp councilors for parents makes Voldemort look like Rincewind the Wizzard by comparison, only without the redeeming qualities was way worse than becoming a Weasley and having many children.

On the other hand, Mr and Mrs Granger haven't learned anything from one Mrs Voorhees attack, too many Jason Voorhees attacks to count, and worst of all, the revenge the Addams kids carried out on the camp, and Ron will be the one raising his twelve kids while she will be the Minister of Magic, and Blaise Zabini will ask:

"Does Minister Hermione Weasley look like a bitch, motherfucker? I said, does. She. Look. Like. A. Fucking. Bitch?...Then why the fuck do you fuck around with her like she was? The only one that she ever wants to fuck is her husband Ronald Weasley, and only a whole cauldron of contraceptive potion, for each of them, motherfucker."

"Any questions?" Deadpool asked.

A little girl raised a hand.

"Yes, little lady?"

"Are you Freddie Krueger?"

"I did meet him in a dream once, but he got bored and left."

"Your skin looks like a hamburger." A boy said.

"That's because I got cancer. The treatment to cure me only gave me superpowers, but made me look ugly and deformed and in constant pain. That's why I always act like a crazy weirdo: to deal with my physical and emotional pain. Enough questions. We're going to start by going on a little jog around the camp for, oh, one hundred laps. Any kids bullying the slow and weak kids will have to clean the dishes instead of training. Any kids getting bullied will get one lap as a reward."

"Awww." The kids said.

"Or, we can let the athletic kids call you 'fag' and 'dick face' every time you fail, and get rewarded with more training for being total tools, and have low self esteem your entire life? The athletic little douchebags will be forbidden from exercising, and the weak, unpopular losers will run the extra mile until they can kick ass. Every nerd who runs the extra mile will get extra instruction on how to dislocate a bully's elbow joint. Now that's what I call equalization. Little Me Number 1 and Little Me Number 2 will make sure that you don't slack off." He pointed to his two midget copies, both on tiny bicycles and each carrying a night stick.

"Um, Mr Wilson?" Christy asked when they were all running "I'm pretty sure that you trained me already today, only you were wearing the opposite outfit."

"Enough of your excuses, girl. Either keep running, or Mini Me's will smack you." Deadpool turned to the other Deadpool, wearing his suit but no the mask "Oh, hello other me. How's the girl's training going?"

"Very well. I'll make her repeat the karate kata a few hundred times and some stretching."

"Okay. Then I'll make her do the running and pushups."

"Um, see? I was right, wasn't I?" Christy interrupted.

"I never promised to train you. He did! Now stop and give me twenty for making excuses!" The TrenchPool said, then turned to the MaskPool "I'll see you later, other me."

Later, Christy went to Dark Heart's sex cave to use the tiger as a couch, only to find a happy red head coming to meet her.

"Christy, you won't believe it! I've finally found my parents! I want you to meet them!"

Beast Boy and Raven from the Teen Titans (working as freelance superheroes now that they're no longer teenagers).

"Little dude!" Beast Man said "You've got a girlfriend! Totally awesome, man! I couldn't be more proud."

"But you're still in so much trouble, young man!" Raven said "Attacking a bunch of cute cuddly talking animals. I mean, they are annoying, but that's no reason to kill them. Didn't I tell you to chant Azerath Metrion Zinthos while meditating or you'll be like your grandfather Trigon?"

"Trigon? A manthra? But I though"

Dark Heart turned into a giant version of Patrick Star and shouted "WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE!"

"Rae, I'm scared." Beast Man, or Garfield Logan said as he hugged his wife.

"Oh yoo hoo!" MaskPool said, walking next to Lord No Heart holding the talking book that manipulated Nick Cherrywood, and a guy who looks remarkably like Dark Heart. True Heart and Noble Heart were walking behind them.

"There was a little misunderstanding. This is Daniel Garfield Logan, part demon sorcerer part animal powered shapeshifter. And these are Lord No Heart and Spirit, aka Norbert Hart and his wife Cassandra."

"Mom!" Each respective half breed shapeshifter ran to his parents.

"Oh, this is our real little dude!" Garfield said.

"Yeah. What a twist." Raven said.

"Mom! Dad!" Daniel Hart said. "I've missed you so much over the centuries."

"Yeah. And I've spent years trying to kill the Care Bears thinking you were dead after your mom made Mr Cherrywood resurrect me."

"Yeah. He was old by the time he realized the connection between us."

"Ahem." Noble Heart Horse said.

Everyone turned to look at the two animals.

"You've got your parents, we're no longer Christian fundamentalists that kill heretics now that we are animals, you tried to kill us for a millennia, your mother resurrected your father to attack us at every corner, we spent five hundred years changing diapers to babies that never aged until this year. I think we paid more than enough blood sweat and tears for our redemption. Now leave us the fuck alone so that the Wishing Star can grant us human forms so we can die in peace."

"Um, well, sorry about that. We forgive you."

"Finally!" both animals said as their bodies grew to human proportions. Soon there was a nun in long robes, and a priest in chainmail armor with a red cross across the front of his body. Then their bodies aged in seconds until they were nothing but dust, their golden souls leaving towards the sky, holding hands.

Suddenly, a giant golden face shaped like a star. "**Aren't you forgetting something**?" The Great Wishing Star said in a metallic voice. "**You said you would serve me body and soul until you get your redemption**."

"Yes, oh great one." The Knight Templar priest said "And we are grateful for finally having our souls receive eternal rest."

"**And now, your souls will feed me, Agabazar the Eternal, the Great Old One known as the Great Wishing Star. Your spirits will forever be part of me. And as I gain strength, I will devour Cthulhu and the rest until I'm more powerful than Yog Sototh, Nyarlatotep, even Azatoth. I will be the only being to exist, and all will be devoured by me!"**

The Wishing Star's face split in the middle, revealing sharp teeth, countless tentacles, and infinite eyes gazing upon which for too long would induce madness.

"No! Please, spare us, oh Great One!" the nun said a she and her lover were sucked into the open mouth in the middle of the golden face with screams of terror and anguish.

**Burp! "Oops, where are my manners. Excuse me." **The Wishing Star said after eating the two. "**Have a delightful reunions, everyone!"** it said before vanishing.

"Huh? I wasn't paying attention." Christy said as she was hugging her new boyfriend. They did have an arrangement that she would fuck anyone she wanted, like the previous Camp Champ and his girlfriend.

The only condition is that Dark Heart gets to watch. She will be seeing Darky for a few years to see if she's compatible as a wife for him while training under the Deadpools in assassination skills.

If she plays her cards right, Christy will have ultimate power, MWA HA HA HA HA HA.

And Deadpool's next apprentices will be Meg Griffin and Charlie Brown. Turning them into deadly, merciless killers will be awesome.


End file.
